We Cared for Our Dad, We Understand
Alzheimer's and dementia caregiving tips. We have firsthand experience with the unique and complex demands of caring for a family member with Alzheimer's.
9/8/20231 min read
Initially we attributed our dad’s failing memory and uncharacteristic exasperation to aging. When he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, the life we knew along with some of his memories of us were gone forever.
We are three accomplished women, sisters with distinctly different personalities and different styles. Together, juggling professional and family responsibilities, we cared for our dad so he could remain in the family home. It was hard and there were three of us providing care. Although we never argued, there were times when individually, we each felt like we couldn't do anything right. We didn’t have time to read lengthy books on the subject, and needed a quick road map to help us grasp what was needed to provide harmonious and consistent care.
Many times I looked at dad and wondered who the person was looking back at me. I knew it was the disease, but it was difficult not to take it personally during his outbursts, and even more difficult to manage the guilt after my own frustration was evident. Let's not forget the sleepless nights as dad suffered with sundowning. A quick guide would have been helpful as I searched for the right words and resisted the inclination to correct him about people, places and things. Coming up with appropriate activities, preparing meals, managing medication and changing behaviors takes a toll.
Understanding caregiver responsibilities, disease progression and a checklist of actionable steps will help caregivers navigate this difficult journey with love, dignity, and a bit of humor. Don't forget that you must care for yourself as well so you can care for someone else.
Helpful Resources:
Online Resources List (free), Caregiving eBook, Fillable Care Plans